


maybe god can be on both sides of the gun

by Knightblazer



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012), The Incredible Hulk (2008)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, Gen, Pre-Avengers Movie, Role Reversal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-12
Updated: 2013-02-12
Packaged: 2017-11-29 01:25:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/681113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Knightblazer/pseuds/Knightblazer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One universe over, events happened just a little differently. (AU, pre-Avengers movie)</p>
            </blockquote>





	maybe god can be on both sides of the gun

**Author's Note:**

> The ideas that creep up onto you while one is in the shower... encouraged by myself and friends, this may be the only instance I ever write fic in this fandom. Or one of two, if I get myself to write the sequel to this. Unbetaed, so forgive any and all errors that crop up in this fic. Title comes from [31_days ](http://31-days.livejournal.com), with the prompt for 1st January 2013.

It begins with an explosion.

He sees the convoy in front of him explode into a thousand, billion pieces, and it’s not hard to imagine blood and bone and skin burning up in that explosion as all hell breaks loose around him. Soldiers are shouting for him to _stay in the vehicle, sir, please,_ but he can’t do that. Not when there are people injured and dying all around him, not when they are injured and dying _because_ they’re trying to protect him. He can’t have that.

So instead of following what the soldiers tell him to do he grabs the first aid kit next to him (he may not be a proper qualified doctor but he can figure this out, he’s a goddamned _genius_ ) on the seat and ducks out of the humvee. He starts running towards the first soldier he can see lying, ignoring the shouts from the other soldiers because this is something he has to do, he can’t just leave people lying dying and broken on the ground—

Something beeps loudly from right beside him then, and he turns just in time to see the words BANNER INDUSTRIES imprinted on the missile before it explodes and Bruce Banner blacks out to the feeling of a million knives stabbing through the Kevlar over his chest.

*

For him, it begins with pain.

Pain is something he’s more than used to—his childhood is full of it, be it home or school or neither of those places. Pain has been the main thing that had shaped him for decades in his life already; it should be something that _shouldn’t_ hurt anymore.

But yet pain is all that he feels right now, fire burning through his veins as he feels a scream ripping itself from his chest. He can see her shouting across the glass, ginger hair whirling around and streaking across his vision like blood.

Blood.

So much blood.

Blood across the floor, across the cupboards, across the tables and chairs and across his hands.

Tony Stark lets out a roar as the pain takes over all of his senses, and the world shifts, changing and moving and attacking and fighting and _hurting_ and all he wants to do is to smash all that pain away. 

He will. Because he’s no longer weak anymore.

*

The first thing Bruce does when he returns from Afghanistan is to call a press conference and declare that Banner Industries is no longer manufacturing weapons. He knows that he’ll lose a lot out of that move—all his contracts with the military, all the agreements he’s made in the last decade—all of them went down the drain the moment he said the words to the press.

But honestly, Bruce can’t find it in himself to care. He knows now, more than ever, that there are more important things than manufacturing nuclear deterrents for the country. Deterrents they may be, but they are still weapons—and they can still be used to hurt people. Hurt lives. End lives, should they wish to.

He can’t have that anymore.

So he immediately shuts down all manufacturing of weapons in his company and ignores everything that Ross is saying to him. He doesn’t let Betty in, too, because as much as he appreciates her she’s Ross’s daughter, and he’s certain that Ross will try and use her to get to him somehow. Everybody knows that Betty is pretty much the only person Bruce will soften his stands for, after all.

But not even Betty can stop him on this matter. Bruce can’t let that happen, because after seeing soldiers die by his weapons, seeing _Yinsen_ giving his life for him—he can’t take it any longer. He’s only alive because of Yinsen, and Bruce isn’t going to waste what has been granted to him.

He has things to do now, and nobody is going to stop him.

*

Tony isn’t sure what to expect when Rhodey calls him, but it certainly wasn’t anything like this.

“You need to go, Tony,” he says, voice hurried and urgent. “They’re already starting to finalize the warrant for your arrest, and I’m not sure how long I can delay them.”

He looks at Pepper one last time, eyes flickering to the monitors and charts as his mind supplies him with flashes of anger and rage and pain—and then he sucks in a breath and mutters quietly to the phone. “Alright. Where do we meet?”

Rhodey tells him the location and Tony keeps it in mind as he hangs up. He throws the phone into the nearby bin as he makes his way out of the hospital and towards the coordinates Rhodey gave to him, knowing full well what he’s going to do. Being a fugitive is something Tony had never thought he would end up becoming, but he can’t let Stane get a hold of this _thing_ he’s created inside of him. Its one thing to have this _thing_ crawling under his skin, but if the military was going to use it… Tony can’t let that happen. He knows better than anybody how dangerous this _thing_ is; he can’t let it run loose across the world under the guise of a weapon.

So he runs and goes off the radar for a while, making himself disappear before he pops up again in laboratories across the world—Germany, Japan, Russia, anywhere that he could go to as he tries and find a cure for the Hulk even as the military scramble to knock down the doors and take him in. They can’t, of course—he’s too important and vital to the labs every time they try—and even as Rhodey keeps telling him to stay _low_ Tony does the opposite and keeps pinging on their radars because he can. The military might be trying to break his will and his spirit, but Tony just shows them that they never can do it, because he’s motherfucking Tony Stark and nobody’s going to stop him from getting what he wants.

*

AI’s have never been Bruce’s strong suit. Sure, he’s dabbled in it before here and there, most of them attempts to amuse Betty, but he had never attempted to create an AI on this scale. He knows its plausible, but his speciality is on nuclear physics and bio weaponry—AIs are never his thing. But with the creation of his suit it’s clear that he does need an AI to help him keep it all in check, so Bruce works on making one that will suit his purposes. He knows it won’t be perfect, but as long as it manages to accomplish what he needs then it’ll be good enough. He can work on improvements in time. 

Unsurprisingly, the AI takes far longer to create as compared to the suit, but Bruce can’t help but feel a sense of accomplishment when he installs the system and sees its activate on the HUD of his mask. 

“Good morning, sir,” comes a cool, female voice, professional but calm enough for Bruce to feel comfortable enough with. “Systems are fully uploaded and integrated into both the suit and the house, and the suit is ready to deploy at your command.”

Bruce takes a moment to test his mobility in the suit, flexing his arms a few times before he nods. “Thank you, Rebecca. And there’s no need to address me as sir; Bruce will do just well.”

There’s a pause from the AI, but eventually it replies. “As you wish, Bruce. Shall I deploy the suit now?”

For a second Bruce wonders if he shouldn’t have done that, but decides to leave the matter as it is and nods once more. “Alright.”

He knows there will never be a real replacement for his mother, but this is as close as he can get to it, and Bruce will take whatever he can get—because he’s already lost far too much.

*

He’s in Singapore ducking low for a bit when the fateful call comes—he may be a fugitive but he still has ways to keep in touch with the world; no use being a hermit, after all—and Tony pauses in his feast of dumplings and wine in order to pick up his phone.

“Tony Stark?” comes the voice at the end of the line, and Tony frowns at the unfamiliar voice—only a handful of people know this number, and he’s already told them that this number could only be given if something very important happened. Clearly, if this unfamiliar person had his number, it meant that something very important did crop up.

He sets down the glass of wine he had been holding in his hands and shoos off the other people in the room before he speaks up again. “The one and only. Who is this?”

“Sterns,” the voice replies. “Dr. Samuel Sterns. I’m a cellular biologist and I think I may be able to find a cure for your condition.”

Tony feels the world pause and freeze, the ground moving underneath him when he hears those words. A cure. Somebody’s found a cure for this thing inside of him, and Tony isn’t sure what to think about that. He had been certain that only he could find the cure, but somebody else had beaten him to the punch.

In another time and place, perhaps, Tony would have been suspicious of this claim. But it’s been five years and honestly? Tony is tired of this constant game he has to play with the military. He wants to go back home and sit on his couch and watch crap television. Wants to go back home where JARVIS can be around and he can snark at his brilliant AI again without remorse. Wants to go back home where Pepper is waiting for him, and where he can apologize to her for all that he’s done in the last half decade.

A part of him doesn’t know what this will lead to, but he’s getting desperate and Tony doesn’t like being desperate, so he closes his eyes and takes the chance, asking Sterns for an address. He hangs up once he gets said address and immediately books the first flight back to America, because there’s only so long he can wait and for this he can’t wait. He wants this to be over, and that time is coming soon.

*

Bruce’s first target is the collection of weapons he had seen while being held captive back in Afghanistan. Going there takes him a bit under two hours.

Destroying everything takes him just five minutes.

He isn’t exactly sure how long he sticks around there—it’s a constant chain of destroying weapons and saving people, moving from one spot to another, and its only when Rebecca tells him that the suit’s power is starting to run low does Bruce realize how much time has passed and he makes his way back home.

He manages to get back home before the suit really runs out of juice, and its only seconds after taking out the suit when his phone rings. Bruce picks it up as he throws himself down to the nearest couch, telling Rebecca to throw up a screen and put the call on loudspeaker. “Hello?”

“Banner.” It’s Ross, of course its Ross, and Bruce manages to bite down a heavy sigh as he raises an eyebrow at the man. “Where have you been? I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for ages.”

Bruce blinks at the question for a moment before he glances away and addresses his AI. “Rebecca, did General Ross call me while I was busy?”

“Not at all, sir,” the AI replies simply, and somehow Bruce can hear a tinge of something in its voice at that response.

A vein pulses in one of Ross’s temples. “Don’t try and play smart with me, Banner. One of the terrorists’ weapons stock was just destroyed, and its location was close to where you were held captive.”

“What are you complaining for?” Bruce returns, and now both of his eyebrows are raised. “They’re the ones losing ground here, not you. Isn’t this to your advantage, General?”

Those words do shut Ross up, but it’s not hard to see the irritation that’s ticking in his mind as the general sends a glare over to Bruce. “You had better not be trying anything behind my back, Banner,” he says, in that voice that Bruce has always been wary of ever since young. “The company is already in a bad place after your announcement, and if you do anything more…”

“You’ll kick me off the board?” Bruce threatens, because he knows how unlikely that will happen. Ross might have looked over the company after his parent’s demise, but Bruce was the one who made it into the top weapons manufacturer—at least, until Afghanistan happened. But the point still stands. Without Bruce, Banner Industries wouldn’t have made it this far, woudn’t be where it is now.

For a moment he sees something flash across Ross’s eyes—something that should have warned him back then, something he should have realized—but Bruce is too caught up in his own triumphs and irritation towards Ross to notice it. Regardless, that flash vanishes just as quickly as it does appear, and Ross gruffly says something along the lines of ‘it’ll be on your head’ before ending the call.

Back then, he should have realized that something was wrong. Then maybe he could have prevented on everything that was going to happen next.

*

In retrospect, Tony should have figured that something was fishy from the moment he got the call—it all seemed too perfect, too good. He had spent five years searching for a cure and hadn’t managed it, so how can some cellular biologist he had never heard before figure it out before he did? 

At the same time though, he couldn’t turn down the chance that he might be able to live in a stable world again. A life where he could pop around anytime to see Pepper, could hang out with Rhodey without concern for his military connections and his duty, could once again be a free man without a warrant for his head and body. After five years of this game he wants it to end, and he wants it to end on _his_ terms.

Rhodey picks him up when he arrives at the airport and brings him over to the lab where Sterns is waiting for him—along with somebody else he hadn’t expected at all, and Tony can’t help but brighten up when he sees who it is.

“Pep,” he breathes out in surprise when he sees her, not sure if he’s actually dreaming this or not. Five years of wishing, hoping, wanting, and now…

Pepper gives a small smile to Tony as she steps forward and takes his hand, holding it in-between hers and presses a kiss onto his palm. “Rhodey brought me here once knew about it,” she explained while lowering his hand, taking a step closer towards him. “I hope this cure will work.”

“Oh, yes, it will,” Sterns interrupts them from the sidelines, head rising from the mess of wires he’s working on. “I’m certain of it.” He glances over to Tony and smiles. “You can be sure of that, Mr. Stark.”

Tony doesn’t trust people easily, but he knows this is a chance he’s going to have to take if he wants to get rid of the monster he’s created. He takes a moment to hug Pepper first before getting onto the chair that Sterns shows him, watching as wires and monitors are hooked up onto him one by one. It feels like an eternity before everything is ready, but when everything is ready and Sterns is counting down everything feels too sudden, too abrupt, and Tony wonders again if he’s ready for this.

Yes, he tells himself as he turns over to Pepper and sends one more smile at her before Sterns triggers the transformation. The pain starts to rush in again, just as vicious as the first time, and the last thing Tony sees before he blacks out is Pepper’s worried, horrified face.

*

It hurts. His brain is pounding, temples pressing painfully at the edges of his skull; he can feel the shrapnel on his chest crawling towards his heart now that the arc reactor is taken and he can barely feel any of his limbs, but Bruce is trying to pull himself together despite that. He should have known—he should have suspected—but he had let his guard down and now thousands were going to pay with their lives because of his carelessness. 

He should have sensed that something was wrong the moment he returned from Afghanistan. Ross had never somebody Bruce fully trusted in, even from young, and when he was older their differing views had set them apart from each other. It was only because of Betty did Bruce continue to put up with Ross, and after his captivity… he should have figured that Ross had a part to play behind it, but the man had raised him, despite everything. It was hard to believe that the man who had brought him up was also the one who ended up betraying him. He had never liked Ross, but the truth of that still hurt even more than the pain he was experiencing now.

Gritting his teeth together, Bruce forces himself to move because there’s only one reason why Ross would need the arc reactor from him and he needs to _move_ before it’s all too late. 

It seems to take forever, but eventually Bruce manages to drag himself back down to the lab. He spots his target as he pushes himself out of the lift, stumbling over discarded parts and tools before nearly falling over onto the counter he was targeting for. He takes a moment to try and gather his strength, but that’s an uphill task considering the ever growing pain in his heart.

 _You need to do this, Banner,_ Bruce tells himself as he raises his head and looks at the arc reactor sitting in his glass casing, the one he had made while held in captivity, the one that Betty put into the casing because she had told him that it was proof that Bruce had a heart that was bigger than anybody else’s. Betty, who had helped him when he asked for her help to snoop about her own father. Betty, who was going to be in danger by her own father because of him.

Bruce uses that thought to push himself forward, grabbing the casing and tosses it down to the ground. He hears the glass break into a million pieces as he crumples onto the ground, barely able to hold on for much longer. The pain is growing, engulfing him, and it takes nearly everything within him to get the arc reactor and place it into his chest.

As the arc reactor settles in his body Bruce squeezes his eyes shut and forces himself to breathe. He needs to regain his strength, his breath, and then—and then he has to go and stop Ross before it’s too late. Stop Ross and save Betty, because otherwise Bruce can never forgive himself.

*

A trap. Of course it’s a trap, and Tony knows he should have figured it out. Everything had been too perfect, too attractive for him to resist, and he should have guessed. Should have guessed that Sterns was working with the backing of the government, should have guessed that all the blood he had donated to the labs around the world would have ended up with the US government again. Should have guessed that the military was using what he donated to make the one thing he didn’t want at all. 

Rhodey and Pepper had no idea, of course, and they, too, had been caught by surprise when the military charged in while Tony was out and had taken him under captivity. The cure had worked, as expected, but that was because the military wanted the cure to work for Tony, because otherwise they wouldn’t be able to catch him like this.

So here he was now, handcuffed and a thousand feet in the air in a helicopter when all hell starts to break loose on the ground. Rhodey is the one who gets to the radio first, shouting for visuals and reports that make no sense at first until a chilling, familiar voice crackles through after a soldier’s dying screams.

“I must thank you, Tony,” comes the voice of Obadiah Stane, now twisted and cruel and nothing at all like the man who had raised him. “You made things far too easy for me. With you out of the picture, and with this power… nobody can stop me.” There’s a laugh, and then static snaps through for a moment before the signal cuts itself out, most likely due to Obadiah crushing the receiver.

Tony doesn’t even bother to think twice before he stands up and starts heading to the end of the helicopter. “Rhodey, open the back.”

Both Pepper and Rhodey turn over to face him at the words, but Rhodey is the one who asks the question first. “What are you trying to do?” he demands, half-snapping the question out.

The man rolls his eyes. “Isn’t it obvious?”

Pepper is the one who speaks up this time. “You’re going to _die_ , Tony,” she says, voice pleading, and oh, Tony wishes things could be otherwise. Wishes it wasn’t him who was saddled with this curse, this life, but yet he knows he can’t trade this for anything. As much as he hates the monster inside him he knows he needs it now, needs it to put an end to what Obadiah is doing below. The world doesn’t need another one of _it_ , and if he is the one who has to be it… then this is how he’ll have to deal.

So he just smiles at her and tries to be brave even though every part of him is terrified. “It’s going to be okay, Pep,” he replies, and then looks at Rhodey again with the unspoken please showing in his eyes. He has to do this, _needs_ to do this. The other guy is something he had created, and it is only at his own hands does he know how to end it.

Rhodey looks at Tony for a few moments before he reluctantly nods and signals for the pilot to open the hatch. Tony allows himself to look at Pepper one last time before he twists around and jumps out of the helicopter, squeezing his eyes shut to try and keep the image of her face in his mind as he plummets to the ground a thousand feet below.

 _Protect her,_ he tells his mind just as he feels that familiar rush of pain which he welcomes for the first time in his life.

*

Bruce grunts as he crashes onto the roof of the factory, and he doesn’t need Rebecca telling him to know that he’s not in a good place. He’s been at a disadvantage right from the start, and if he doesn’t end this soon then it’ll really be too late. He tries to push himself back up onto his feet, but Ross crushes him back down with ease and Bruce forces himself to not cry out in pain even though it _hurts_. He knows pain and knows it well, but it still _hurts_ and he can’t move an inch.

“I really must say, you’ve outdone yourself this time, Banner,” comes the voice of Ross almost right next to him, and then Bruce feels something gripping his face and he lets out a shout of pain as the mask is forcefully pried off from him. The plate clatters uselessly on the floor now, the sound echoing in his ears as Bruce opens his eyes and he sees Ross looking down at him from above in his own giant suit.

The foot against his chest presses down a little more, nearly forcing out all the air in Bruce’s lungs as Ross leans in closer and hisses viciously in his ear. “You said you were going to stop making weapons, but yet you’ve just made the most dangerous weapon of all.”

“It’s _not_ a weapon,” Bruce hisses back even as he forces himself to breathe, his breaths coming out harsh and panting. “It will _never_ be a weapon.”

Ross straightens back up and regards Bruce with a twisted smirk that will haunt his dreams for days to come. “Tell me that again in a year’s time,” he returns and raises a fist up, the giant, metallic hand starting to spark with generated electricity. 

“Bruce!” comes Betty’s voice from below. “It’s done!”

Bruce doesn’t waste a second to reply. “Press the button! Now!”

“But—”

“ _Now_ , Betty!”

Betty slams her fist down and sends the giant arc reactor that’s sitting below them into overdrive, and Bruce squeezes his eyes shut as he tries not to show the pain that rushes through his body as he’s thrown off the roof due to the waves and sends him crashing back down onto the ground two levels below. In the distance he can hear Ross and his suit tumbling down into the arc reactor, and he tries not to think about the man who he’s just killed more or less by the hands of his daughter as the entire factory explodes behind him.

Betty is at his side after a few minutes along with the other agents who were accompanying her, and Bruce allows himself a moment to embrace the warmth that Betty gives to him, knowing that he is going to have to deal with a lot of things and make a lot of apologies tomorrow. 

But for now, this is all that he needs, and he will take this for as long as he can.

*

He dreams about it often these days. The fight, the knowledge of the betrayal that Obadiah did to him, the look on Pepper’s face when he was moments away from killing the man who had raised him and now stabbed him in the back. That was a look he never wanted Pepper to have on her face again, because she didn’t need it. She didn’t need all this worry, didn’t need to know all of this horror and pain and terror that Tony knows will now forever be a part of his life no matter how much he wants it to be otherwise.

This time he follows Rhodey’s advice and lies low, making himself vanish off the radar. No more popping around because he can, no more danger, no more showing off. He makes himself disappear off the face of the Earth and ensures that nobody can ever find him again. After Harlem, after Obadiah’s betrayal… Tony isn’t sure if he can take this anymore. Despite everything the monster inside himself never truly dies down, but now Tony knows how to keep it controlled, makes sure that it won’t be a constant problem for him now. The world doesn’t need this, doesn’t need _it_ , and Tony knows that more than ever.

He moves often, still keeping low, but also making sure to throw anybody off if he starts noticing people tailing him. Brazil, Italy, Spain, India—he never stops, never pauses, never lets himself settle because he can no longer afford that, not with what is on the line for him now. He never sticks around and keeps on moving, because moving is the only thing he can do. Eventually he slowly starts to settle into a rhythm of sorts, moving around and helping people in factories. It’s not a perfect life, but it’s a life Tony can deal with. He even comes to appreciate it a little after a while, because he can go to places others probably would never have been before and appreciate them. 

A year passes by and Tony is almost certain that this is something he can live with, but it all comes to a head one day when he accepts an offer for help from a little girl in Calcutta and ends up in a deserted shack at the edge of the city where a woman with blood red hair introduces herself as Natasha Romanoff.


End file.
